


Thought Threads and Squishies

by Taunicon



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, ProwlxJazz if you squint, Sad Bee, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 13:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7894015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taunicon/pseuds/Taunicon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A skirmish causes problems in a city where there are too many  humans and not enough processor power to track it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thought Threads and Squishies

Humans were strange little creatures. Dirty and squishy. Much like rust, they seeped from every corner, spread without effort and irritated him to the ends of the universe.

Not that Prowl would ever admit it out loud or over comms of course, but it was true nonetheless.

For example, why did the humans stick around when ‘giant mother-fucking robots’ (their words, not his) battled in between skyscrapers? Any other inhabited planet they had fought on prior to this had much smarter resident populations than this one. Instead of running for cover the humans step out and watch, gobsmacked at twenty ton metal beasts throwing each other around.

At least the rest of the sentient life on this planet had some sense. Rodents dove underground, snakes curled under objects and the dogs pulled against their chains, trying to get away but tied down by their human masters. Birds cried as they fled, though a puff of feathers told him that not every one got away and that Sunstreaker would be picking out tiny bird bones from his shoulder joint for a week.

Humans though, the squishy little infestation, hung around to watch open-orificed.

Optimus Prime had forbid them to squish them, accidentally or otherwise. Prowl disagreed (there were too many to miss all the time!) but followed his Prime’s orders the best he could. Which was better than anyone else, mind you. Instead of tracking a dozen objects like a battle this size would normally demand the Head Tactical Officer was forced to track hundreds. 

[ _TacHead to Arcee: adjust course five degrees north-east to avoid human impact_ ] was just one of many extra commands he was forced to grudgingly make. They were losing ground because of the constant changes he had to make to compensate for the humans.

Prowl had only landed on Sol03 (better known as Earth) five orns prior. Sunstreaker, Arcee, Wheeljack, First Aid and Hound had all been with him. Sunstreaker was quietly pleased to be so close to his brother Sideswipe once more. First Aid had similar feelings about being reunited with his mentor, Chief Medical Officer Ratchet. Prowl turned a blind chevron to rumors but word was that Wheeljack was also pleased to see Ratchet, but for completely different reasons. Hound fell in love with Sol03 instantly. Arcee...

[ _Arcee to TacHead: Get these disgusting creatures out of my way! I cannot be held responsible for squashing any of them!_ ]

Arcee had the same thoughts and feelings Prowl held. This planet was dirty and squishy.

Prowl chose to not retort back to his subordinate, too busy with redirecting two others to reply. 

[ _TacHead to Bumblebee, Hound: Skywarp heading your way, north-east. Distract and incapacitate._ ]

With the various feeds he had from his operatives and the crude human network, Prowl watched as Hound ducked under a human-made cover and projected a hologram of himself next to Bumblebee. They ran, the minibot and hologram, catching Skywarp’s attention as planned. Just as Skywarp directed his blasters towards the fleeing Autobots Hound aimed and fired his blaster. It clipped the purple Con in the rear booster and the seeker wobbled in the air, dropping twenty yards before warping away with a yowl.

No compliments were given but Hound and Bumblebee shared triumphant smiles anyway. One Con down for the count, three more to go.

Prowl gave the pair another location to head to. A building was crumbling and a few humans were still in the way. The two Autobots ran to their new destination, both wanting to protect the locals. 

From his perch Prowl could just see Ironhide grappling with Shockwave, cannons’ red at the tips from use. The building Prowl had chosen to ascend was not the tallest around as that would make him easy prey for the Seekers. This one was cast in the evening shadows of a much larger building right next to it. Even though his paint job was of the black and white of the local law enforcement vehicles he still somehow melted into the black.

[ _WeapMaster to TacHead: Slagging cassette ray’d Sunshine in the processor, he’s in a hard reboot. Ah’m too far away to provide ‘im backup_ ]

Ah. Three and a half Deceptions to go.

[ _TacHead to WeapMaster: Acknowledged._ ]

[ _TacHead to CMO: Assistance needed._ ]

Prowl sent out [ _TacHead to Arcee: Sunstreaker’s down. One length south-east, provide cover._ ] while simultaneously sending [ _TacHead to Sideswipe: Sunstreaker’s down, sending Arcee, hold position._ ] 

[ _Arcee to TacHead: Copy that._ ]

The head of tactical ignored Sideswipe’s sputtering protest while using an ATM’s security camera to ensure that the red hellion held his position as ordered. 

Sideswipe’s whole body kept flinching in the direction of his fallen brother, drawn magnetically towards the spot. He wasn’t going to hold his position if Prowl didn’t find a way to distract him. The black and white Autobot scoured his feeds and sent his battle computer into overdrive. Vectors spiraled out, each with its own dataset of probabilities. Each object he tracked had its own set of variables and they all crossed paths one way or another. The amount of data he processed at once would have blown several fuses for anyone else but Prowl, who was literally built for this, handled it with relative ease.

Looking for a distraction for Sideswipe, Prowl narrowed his results down to a few vectors, all within the span of only a couple Earth seconds.

Ah, yes, that would do.

[ _TacHead to Sideswipe: Frenzy is point three clicks away from your current position and approaching fast._ ]

Prowl continued to allow a few thought-threads linger on the ATM’s security camera as Sideswipe threw a dumpster at Frenzy. The crash was satisfying even through the low quality audio he was piggybacking off of. 

More threads were watching Bumblebee and Hound pull humans to safety, and more yet were watching over Arcee as she protected Sunstreaker.

[ _WeapMas to TacHead: Prowl! Watch your fender!_ ]

Prowl twisted around on his perch.

Starscream, in jet mode, was tearing towards him. They collided when Prowl was at mid-turn. Starscream’s nose cone rammed into Prowl’s upper torso, crushing the plating that surrounded his headlights and shattering the glass. Prowl’s white fingers scrabbled at the other’s surface as he was forced off his feet. He tried to cling but his servos slipped against the slick, hot surface. 

His sensors let him know exactly when the building was no longer under his body. 

Air rushed around him as he fell. With barely a thought he pinged the CMO’s comm to up the priority of his request. 

Turned out not all of Earth was squishy. Cement was hard, though it still shattered upon his impact. 

Prowl turned his body so that he would land on his legs, making a last ditch calculation of what would be the rest position to land on. His back was an option but Prowl, selfishly, did not want to destroy his sensory panels. His front was not an option - Starscream’s initial impact had made a large enough dent to his torso plating that he was already getting red-underlined warnings of inordinate pressure. His legs would absorb the impact and save the valuable systems in his torso, including his spark.

Didn’t mean it did not hurt.

Prowl shout in pain as he felt his struts snap. At least one of his hip gimbals was ripped out of joint. Plating shattered. Energon lines were crushed. Neural wires were severed and left sparking in the flammable liquid. 

While his legs did absorb most of the impact as Prowl had calculated there was still enough force left to drive his back into the ground. Sensor panels went into immediate emergency shut down from the onslaught of data. 

Primus, he hoped that squishy feeling under him wasn’t human flesh. Was there a human in the way before he fell? He tried to trace the vectors and felt his data scatter disjointedly.

The rest of his processor tumbled down and his world went black.

\-------------

Primus Fraggit!

Ironhide cursed up a storm as his optics tracked Prowl’s fall. The building Prowl had perched himself on was twenty floors above ground which meant a pit of a tumble and landing. Starscream could be heard cackling over the screech of his engine as he veered away. A blue ray chased after the Trine Leader but missed. Starscream waggled his wings in a wordless taunt. 

[ _WeapMas to CMO: Git yer flat aft over here Ratch, Prowl’s down!_ ]

[ _CMO to WeapMas: I’m fragging trying! Brawl is taking pot shots at us! Prime is still a few clicks out!_ ]

First Aid must be with his mentor. All the good that did. The youngling had better bedside manners than Ratchet but he was as worthless as scrap on the battlefield.

Snarling and still aiming towards Shockwave while edging towards the fallen tactician, the Weapons Master called Bumblebee and Hound to change locations. With Prowl down and Prime still minutes away, Ironhide was in charge. Ironhide did not shy away from his duties, but he didn’t have to like them.

[ _Bumblebee to WeapMas, Hound: We’re still working on securing five more humans!_ ] Bumblebee sent back.

[ _WeapMas to Bumblebee, Hound: You keep doing that. Hound, git to Prowl!_ ]

Hound confirmed his orders and moved, ducking for cover whenever Starscream was in sight.

[ _WeapMas to Arcee: How’s Sunshine?_ ]

[ _Arcee to Weapmas: In final stages of rebooting. Sideswipe’s here._ ]

[ _Weapmas to Arcee, Sideswipe: Sides, stay with Sunstreaker. Arcee, reposition to distract Brawl. Ratch needs to get through._ ]

She acknowledged and flitted away.

Shockwave chose that moment to aim and fire at Ironhide. The black mech dodged behind a wall, which exploded with a moment later. Dust was thick in the air and bits of stone rained down for some distance. Ironhide took aim with one of his cannons and used the cover to allow his weapon to power up. When his aiming systems could penetrate the haze and locate his target he locked, aimed and fired. His shoulder jolted back with the force of the discharge. The minor pain was worth the crash of Decepticon metal.

[ _Hound to WeapMas, CMO: I’ve got Prowl under cover. He has several torn lines and I’m doing my best to patch them up but--_ ]

[ _CMO to Hound, WeapMas: We’re coming! Arcee’s giving us cover, just give us a few fragging clicks and we’ll be there!_ ]

Ironhide and Hound ignored Ratchet’s snapping. They would be more worried with a quiet Ratchet. A loud, grouchy Ratchet was a comforting normal.

[ _Prime to WeapMas: ETA three minutes, anything I should deal with first?_ ]

[ _WeapMas to Prime: Yer gunna hit Brawl first ‘less Screamer comes yer way. Skywarped ran awhile ago and Frenzy’s a flat-iron. Shockwave is down for’a moment but I wouldn’t count him out yet._ ]

[ _Prime to WeapMas, Sideswipe: No, I would not. Secure the area around Prowl and get Sunstreaker to Ratchet. Sideswipe can help you keep the perimeter._ ]

Ironhide did not protest the change of command, happy to let someone else call the shots. Ironhide was more weapon than processor. Aim him anywhere and he’ll get the job done but having to aim everyone else was well over his pay grade.

[ _Sideswipe to WeapMas: Meet you there. Sunny’s still woozy, it will take a little longer for us._ ]

Ironhide sent the warrior a bleep of confirmation and headed towards the medics. He kept his cannon’s raised and pointed at the fallen Decepticon, position himself to be between the enemy and his fellows.

\--------

Hound was no stranger to injuries.

None of them were. The war had taken that away from everyone. 

It still could shock him, though. He fell to his knee joints at his commander’s side. A hologram to cover them was thrown up as fast as he could and he put enough processing power to make it as solid as possible. Prowl was losing too much energon and Hound wouldn’t have processing power between patching what he could and upholding the hologram to also fight off enemies.

Even though the feel of the slick energon in his his joints made his tank cramp uncomfortably, his hands were steady as he crimped what he could.

Everyone who was still alive in this war also had field medic training and too much practice using it. 

Hound knew that Prowl’s sensory panels would be quick to bleed out even if they had, comparatively, less injuries than his lower half. With a deftness that relieved he had done this before, Hound completely pinched off the energon supply to the extra appendages. The lines there still oozed out what was left in them but the rate of flow dropped dramatically.

Opting to move lower, Hound capped off and closed what he could. A large energon line that had been mutilated by the broken hip gimbal was left alone. Somehow that gimbal managed to both rip it open and hold it closed. He dared not fiddle with it lest he cause a more massive bleed-out.

A quick comm to Ironhide and Ratchet updated them on the situation. The CMO’s snarling was a balm against the hot and sticky energon that clung to Hound. While First Aid had done an excellent job on maintaining Prowl’s crew there was nothing, no one, no where that could replace Ratchet in either skill or temperament.

More shots were fired. The sound was dulled through his thick hologram and he tried to ignore it, putting as much power as he could towards finding the largest leaks and sealing them.

[ _CMO to Hound: What’s your twenty? Can’t see you or Prowl through this haze, fraggit._ ]

Hound pinged him the exact coordinates. Moment’s later Ratchet and his apprentice walked through the hologram. 

“I crimped what I could,” he panted, blue eyes flicking all over Prowl’s offline frame, “And I completely cut off the lines to his panels, but his hip --”

“Yah, yah I see it. Keep this hologram up. First Aid,” he barked and the younger Bot leapt to attention, “Start bracing his right leg so that we can move him without slicing through more lines.”

First Aid went to the opposite side of Ratchet and applied temporary plating to the shattered leg. Ratchet kneeled down by the left and worked on the large ripped energon line.

Hound turned away. He kept half an audio on them in case they needed help with anything. His duty know now was to keep his hologram strong enough to keep both Prowl and the medics safe.

Ironhide ambled towards him, looking weary but satisfied. Hound understood why when he spotted the smoking pile of Shockwave.

The scout pinged the older mech the exact location. Ironhide nodded his helm but kept his position, opting to protect them from a mild distance away.

The sounds of the medics working was all Hound heard for a few moments.

“Mpf-zzzt…”

“Primus fraggit Prowl, can you stay down for more than a few astroclicks you data-clogged over-large fact-spewer?!”

Hound turned to see Prowl’s optics online dimly. They stared into middlespace, at nothing in particular. White fingers scratched at the chunks of concrete on the ground, slipping against his own energon like they were trying to find purchase on something. An irritating buzz, like that of a mosquito, itched at Hound’s audios.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe walked towards them, the former supported by the latter. Sunstreaker had that same middlespace look in his optics and a black mark on his torso to show where Frenzy’s point-blank shot had hit.

Bumblebee, in alt mode, raced towards them with flashing headlights. 

“Fzzzzt--atchezzzt?”

“Yah, slagger, its Ratchet. Of course it’s Ratchet, you got yourself royally slagged and so now I’m here to clean--!”

He was interrupted by a frantic comm. [ _Bumblebee to All: Starscream’s coming back -- Get out of the way -- There’s human’s in that building!!!-- Move, move, MOVE!_ ]

The mosquito sound morphed rapidly into the scream of a Seeker engine going full tilt. Optimus’ guns shot after him, each blast missing by millimeters. Ironhide’s cannons ripped out a couple of shots, one managing to brush against Starscream’s nose but otherwise he too was unsuccessful.

Ratchet thrust his arms under his patient’s body and heaved upwards. Prowl’s optics brightened and washed out to white as he cried out in pain. 

Hound hooked a hand under a stunned First Aid’s arm and yanked him away.

“The humans!” Bumblebee cried out as Sideswipe grabbed him with both arms, preventing him from running head first into the building.

Ratchet, Prowl, First Aid and Hound were only feet away from the building when Starscream let a missile loose. It shattered through a window on the fourth floor, two above where the group of humans were cowering, and exploded with enough force to send the four flying. 

Ironhide, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Bumblebee were jolted to their knees. Optimus Prime and Arcee were a mile away but even they struggled to keep their balance.

“Oh, Primus,” Bumblebee breathed as the building started to collapse in on itself, the structural integrity compromised. There were screams that cut off as quickly as they started.

Starscream circled, his targeting systems locked onto the jumbled pile of mechs. 

Hound’s systems were in a tizzy, the edges of his visual input staticy and his audios blown out by the impressive shockwave of the first bomb. 

A white, long cylinder shifted in front of Hound’s vision. The scout reset his visual input, widening his lenses and focusing them back down as his tangled processor focused in on that single stimuli.

The cylinder shifted, adjusting itself in minute degrees before settling on a position. Hound had a moment to realize that it was one of Prowl’s rocket’s before BAM, it was off.

Starscream screamed as it hit him in the ventral of his jet mode, knocking off his targeting mode and killing power to his thrusters. Starscream lost control of his descent. A moment later there was a flash of purple as Skywarp, who must have been commed, warped into the sky, grabbed his Trine Leader and warped away again.

Hound reset his optics once more and worked on getting his audios booted up. At least his comm was working.

[ _Optimus Prime to All: Shockwave and Brawl are retreating._ ]

\----

The next time Prowl came about was two orns later. He opened his optics to reassuring orange walls.

“Good morning Sleeping Beauty,” Ratchet groused from a short distance away.

Prowl’s optics turned slowly to the medic, slowing dialing down the aperture of his optics until he could see the other Bot with ease.

“... Sleeping Beauty?” he questioned.

“It’s ah human sparklin’ story,” came a cheery voice from his other side.

Prowl slowly turned his head towards the sound. Gears pulled uncomfortably at the movement and every tension wire in his body protested loudly. 

“‘Bout a princess who sleeps till her true love gives her ah kiss,” said the same mech.

On a berth parallel to his own and half covered in a mesh fabric to protect the still delicate seam on his midsection, Jazz smirked towards Prowl. “Ah didn’t even kiss ya Prowler, so why’d you wake up, hmm?”

Prowl looked at that smirking, silver faceplate. It was a faceplate that he had missed the most while being on a separate mission. The one he thought he would never see again when he heard how Megatron had ripped him in half. The one who had cackled at his absolute astonishment when Prowl first landed on Earth and saw the saboteur alive.

Right now it was a faceplate he’d rather see wiped clean.

“Cybertronians do not ‘kiss’.”

“Sure we do, we got all the right parts.”

“We do not have ‘lips’.”

“Oh, sure we do,” and as if to demonstrate that smirk got wider.

“Lay back down Jazz,” Ratchet snapped, cutting off the conversation before it got out of hand. “If you reopen those welds again I will fuse you to that berth.”

Jazz looked like he wanted to stick his glossa out at the medic but seemed to think better of it because he laid back down. That smirk still lingered.

“How are you feeling?” Ratchet asked Prowl, not entirely unkind. He was standing now next to Prowl’s medberth, plugged into the specialty equipment connected to it and scrolling through the data.

“What happened?” Prowl asked instead of answering.

“You became Starscream’s plaything. Twice. Don’t make me ask again, Prowl,” Ratchet’s hard blue optics narrowed dangerously at the black and white. 

“... I cannot feel anything below my third strut,” he answered after a moment’s assessment. Jazz shifted in his own berth, a hand running across the warm welds under the mesh.

“That’s because you decided to take the quickest route to the ground from a twenty story building!”

“Starscream throwing me off the side of that building was not a decision I made,” Prowl defended cooly, a small frown on his faceplants. The memories were starting to boot up now that he was processing them. “What did I land on?”

“The fragging concrete, you slagging idiot!”

“Nothing else?” Prowl distinctly remembered something squishy.

“What?” Ratchet threw him a frown, “No. Nothin- oh, yes. You did land on a watermelon stand, but it did not cushion your blow if that’s what you were hoping!”

Relief pulsed through Prowl’s wires, though none of it showed on his faceplates. While he had no love for the humans he hardly wanted to be picking bits of them out from between his plating for the next few cycles.

“And everyone else?” Prowl questioned.

“Sunstreaker was discharged an orn ago, he’s fine. Everyone else is fine.”

“Causalities?”

Ratchet paused. Prowl’s voice was blank of emotion, sounding uncaring to the untrained audio, but the medic knew better. Still, honesty was the best policy when it came to Prowl. “Seven humans died, all in the building Starscream bombed. I don’t think he’ll be up to doing that again any time soon, though. Don’t think he’ll be flying for a good long while. Even mostly bled out and half offline your aim is still impeccable.”

Prowl didn’t care for humans. They were dirty and squishy. He still felt bitter at the number. 

“You’re on berthrest for the next twenty orns,” Ratchet stated, heading off Prowl’s protest with “at the least. If you’re a good little Autobot,” Prowl’s optics narrowed dangerously and Ratchet matched and surpassed the glare, “then it shouldn’t be any longer. Don’t go jumping off of buildings and this wouldn’t happen. You completely shattered both of your legs. Thank Primus we had the parts on hand to repair most of it, and your self-repair should handle the rest, but if you strain those repairs before they integrate then--!”

He let the threat of it linger before moving towards the exit. “Stay. On that berth. I mean it. Both of you.” Ratchet left, the colorful sight of Wheeljack meeting him visible for a moment before the medbay door eased shut.

Silence hung as both berth-bound mechs shifted to get comfortable.

Jazz broke the silence first. “Ya just can’t resist it, can’ya?” 

Holding in a tired sigh, though a gleam of affection was present when he turned his helm to look back at Jazz. “Can’t resist what?”

“Bein’ like meh,” Jazz gestured to his own lame lower half. “We’re a matching set! Maybe Ah’ll change mah paint back to black and white, too. Then we’d really match.”

Prowl shook his head, but the gleam lingered. His helm rested back and his optics, half closed, looked at the orange ceiling. He was inching towards recharge when Jazz spoke again.

“Do, what’d ya think of Earth?”

Prowl thought about it for a moment, a frown pulling at his face.

“It’s squishy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd and first fanfiction written in nearly ten years. I've been a reader of Transformer's Fanfiction for well over five years (and Prowl is love <3 <3) but I'm always too timid to write and share my work. Hope it's up to snuff!


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